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The entire block around the ice cream factory smells... funny. Sort of keen and pungent, like paint thinner or some heavily alcohol-based industrial liquid. More specifically, it smells like chemical banana flavor; the air smells like banana-flavored Runts taste. Nothing says Christmas like walking through a snow flurry in the middle of an artificial banana olfactory spill.

The Jejune household contains avid connoisseurs of the elusive J. Crew Final Sale. This is because a) we are cheap, b) we are also kind of preppy at heart, and c) we like the thrill of knowing that items can be snatched from your electronic shopping cart if you pause to deliberate about the purchase for even a minute. (Look upon my wool vests and tartan minis, ye mighty, and despair.) This is the first time that I've perused the J. Crew site since I got my new computer, which includes a widescreen LCD monitor. Thing is, the screen resolution isn't set to compensate for the wider aspect ratio of the new monitor; consequentially, it's kind of like when we'd watch the Super Bowl on my friends' widescreen TV set on Full, and watch 500-lb bruisers hit each other in a larger-than-life battle of bulk. In this case, though, I realized that J. Crew's normally thin models were looking a little... curvy. (The 'Crew, true to its WASP-y heritage, tends to cut its clothes pretty straight-up-and-down; it does, however, use vanity sizing to make the rest of us feel included.) In fact, the model displaying the pants that I bought had a butt (hell yeah!). As a result, I can now look at my screen and get a shockingly accurate image of how the clothes will look on my body.