30 April 2012

Enough Already, Little Captain Wardrobe

I did a tiny bit of closet rearranging last weekend, which was enormously satisfying.  I’d estimate that a full 3/4 of my closet is out of commission at the moment.  Most pre-pregnancy pants and skirts can be laboriously wrestled on, but not zipped, which is an important part of the equation; most dresses are rendered enormously impractical by the fact that I’m nursing; most blazers and wool sweaters are both unseasonal and un-machine-washable, so I don’t wear them around the house; and many tops are out of rotation, due to changing styles (a growing penchant for drapey over tight) and, again, changing torso proportions.

After living for half a year with a very, very small maternity wardrobe, though, I’m not feeling the pinch too much.  I’ve got most of the above out-of-rotation stuff in the back parts of the closet, and a date to revisit it all in a year or so, when I figure I’ll have to be realistic about the future state of my post-baby figure.  Also, I seriously need to counterbalance the metric ton of coats and sweaters that I own with some clothing without sleeves or pant legs, as much as I love a good 30-degree winter morning that allows me to show the locals how it’s done.

Given my extended wardrobe separation — I’m looking at the better part of two years, here — the speed of Theo’s physical expansion is utterly ridiculous.  Yes, yes, “they grow up so fast!,” blah blah blah, but he’s less than four months old and we have a grand total of three gifted onesies left for him to grow into.  Last Monday I was getting him ready to go out on a bit of a coolish morning, and I realized that there was no way I could wrestle his little knit pants on over his big cloth-diapered bubble butt.  “Size 6m pants,” I wrote on the grocery list.  On Friday, I crossed that out: “Size 9m pants.”  The size 6m onesies that I put in the drawer a couple of weeks ago already require vigorous yanking and wrestling to snap closed, and I’m starting to research convertible car seats because his head just keeps growing closer and closer to the top of his baby bucket.

I’m saying: Theo goes through a complete wardrobe cycle about 50 times faster than me, assuming a two weeks to two years ratio.  Clearly, I am not the one who needs a walk-in closet in this family.

Comments are closed.